Basking in my Delusions

The Bitterfam is heading north to be amongst the Swedes for the next two weeks. All of you who wait with baited breath for my next post; breathe, and know that I will return in the new year. Take this time to think of two reasonably sane people loading two 2 3/4 year olds into a car and driving 1000 miles. Oh, the fun we will have! I can almost hear the screams already! (That's a bit of an exaggeration. The girls are usually pretty good until we're about an hour away from our destination for the day.)

Yes, Virginia, there is a Fiber Claus...

A little while ago, I won a contest Knittin' Mom was running, and today, today I got my prize (my kingdom for repaired camera software!)! I must say, she really knows how to treat a gal! I got a hank of Alpaca Cloud and some Lorna's Laces Shepard Sock AND an origami kit! I don't know if I have ever mentioned my little (hah!) obsession with origami. So, thank you thank you thank you, Knittin' Mom! I will post pics again someday, and you can be sure there will be a little alpaca to be seen!

I had to call my mom once I opened the envelope, since she is the one person I knew would truly understand just how much this package made my day! These little beauties will be for something for me, that's for sure! Now, what to make? Hmmm... I'm going to try to refrain from casting on anything 'till after all my gift knitting is done (fat chance!).

What? Still no knitting?

It's the holiday season, so all I can say is I hope I finish the _________ for _________! Feel free to fill in your name and a random knitted object, whether you're expecting a knifty gifty from me or not!

"Da Notorious I.V." Back with a vengeance

So, my BIL has this ivy. Let me explain. This plant was formerly owned by my MIL, who has a notorious black thumb. It was rescued by my BIL years ago, and has become a behemouth of mythic proportions. It is, in short, The Coveted Ivy (this should always be uttered in a conspiratorial, reverent whisper). Anyone who has ever had an ivy tragedy (ie. spider mites, scale, and any number of other nasties that attack as if from nowhere), knows what I mean here. This plant is bigger than your head, and it is a thing of beauty.

Last year, right before leaving for Germany for a year, BIL entrusted me with The Coveted Ivy. We got along swimmingly, and I dare say, she actually grew more lush and happy in my kitchen. (Say what you will about this house, the kitchen has great light!) I was very sad to see her go, but go she did, once her rightful caretakers returned to the states. I did manage to kidnap a cutting, which is thriving, but a mere shadow of her mama.

Saturday afternoon, what was presented to me for my care and consideration? Yup, The Coveted Ivy! Seems she just hasn't been happy back home. We sat down together today and pruned back all the dead stuff, and she's looking a bit bedraggled, but I think she'll pull through. I know we'll have to part ways again in time, but it's nice to have her hanging around my kitchen again.

Plumbing: 3 the Bitter one: 0

So, I was going about my business, doing my part to get ready for the upcoming trip to Minnesota, cleaning out the fridge, etc. I go into the back room (aka the arctic den of freezitude) and I hear water running. Why do I hear water running? There should be no water running. This is when I notice the lake that is spreading from the useless POS that is supposed to be a 1/2 bath. Burst pipe from our recent cold snap. S#!+ I scream, and $#!+ and $#!+, $#!+, &^*!ing $#!+! I turn the water main completely off and the water keeps spraying violently from the wall. I call the DH at work. He's surprisingly calm (I think this has to do with the new XBox), tells me to call a plumber and he'll be right home. After calling 3 companies, all of whom were booked solid, and the emergency line of the board of water works (yeah, emergencies where you can sit around on hold for ten minutes. Sure.), I finally get someone who can help. Mercifully, he was relatively cheap, and gave us some good advice on how to prevent this from happening again.

~~~~Flashback: Pre-Chez Bitter Purchase~~~~

Former Stupid Homeowner #1: Damn, it's cold in this addition! Maybe because it's not insulated and has no routing from the furnace. Hmm...

FSH #2: Yeah, it sure is cold. Hey, Hon? You know what we should do here?

FSH #1: I sure do!

FSH's 1&2: Put in a bathroom!

FSH #1: What a great idea! It'll be totally unusable when the weather is cold, but think of the resale value!

Indeed. And, yes, Skippy, I know, at least it didn't happen while we were in Minnesota. Things can always be just a little worse, but I need to whine every once in a while.

The widowmaker

So, the DH just called to inform me that he won an X-Box at the Guitar Center grand opening. Oh, boy. I guess there is a Santa Claus, Virginia. He just deals in not quite state of the art gaming equipment.

Babygate

So, when we moved into the house last fall, we blocked the stairs off with a baby gate. We soon found that there was no need, as the girls did not have the slightest interest in climbing the stairs. Life went blissfully on. Until Saturday. Saturday, the siren song of the stairs became all too powerful for Zoe. She repeatedly crept oh, so silently up the stairs only to bellow from the top, "B'wight back! I get my wobe an swippers!" Never mind the repeated warnings to stay off the stairs unless Mommy or Daddy are watching you. Never mind the fact that the robe and slippers you seek do not exist. Climb on, Zoe! Climb on!

So, the baby gate has been resurrected. I know, I know, the kids are almost 3 and should be able to climb the stairs, but there is a rather tricksy turn near the top where they have nothing to hold onto, and I worry. I'm their mom, it's in my job description. Zoe has repeatedly informed me that this baby gate is getting in her way, and should be removed post haste. We'll see, baby. We'll see.

Tragically un-hip (hop)

So, due to the total lack of anything worthwhile being on TV last night, combined with my total addiction to the TV, I was watching VH1's best videos of 2005. I will never claim to be "with it" as far a pop culture is concerned. In fact, just last year one of my best friends and I were driving around and she was talking about music and, sadly, I had no clue what she was talking about! I'd never heard of the bands, the songs, zipp-o. I'm, frankly, more of an NPR kinda gal. So, it should come as no surprise that I had no idea that R. Kelley's Trapped in the Closet existed. My question is, why didn't anyone tell me? I laughed so very very hard. Unfortunately, I fell asleep before the airing of all 13 chapters, but, WOW, it's like a crazy drunken ramble with videos!!! Okay. Just had to share.

The new Knitty is up. There are loads of new patterns; unfortunately, due to my tragic lack of hip, there are but a handfull that will find their way to my needles. After all, with all my (momentarily invisible) WIPs, I have no business casting on for anything else! (Although, I really want to make a pair of Pomatomus for my mom.) Maybe they can be a Mother's Day giftie. Although, she likes knitting socks so much it might read as more of a slap in the face. Maybe I'll get her the yarn and wrap it up with the pattern. We'll see.

T- 13 days until we load up the family truckster and hit the highway to heaven (Minnesota)! YAY!

Bikers, flakes and fiber!

Oh, what a day in P-Town! We awoke to a fresh blanket of snow, which lent a nice air of winter to the usual dirt-hole experience. (I'm growing increasingly tired of the high desert plains, frankly. This happens yearly around this time.) The girls were excited, and seemed to think, perhaps, that they had simply awakened in Minnesota. No such luck, but there was much talk of Nana, Grandma, and Pappa. It was also a good excuse to drink hot cocoa.

Since it was snowing here, I finally managed to get to the Post Office to mail the hats I'd made for some beloved Minnesotans. Nothing like winter weather in Pueblo to drive the guilt of not getting those hats mailed when they were finished home but good. On my way to the PO I got to see the entire procession of the annual biker rally/toy drive. Over a mile of bikers bearing toys for kids in need. You have to love bikers, really. They are often some of the nicest people on Earth.

So, as if snow and a few hundred bikers (thousand, maybe?) weren't odd enough, Pueblo now has an LYS of sorts. It's a combo fiber art gallery/store called Fiber & Art. It's a nice space, and they sell handpainted and handspun yarn. I saw some lovely lovelies, but the prices were, umm, well, a bit prohibitive. I don't think I saw a hank under $10, and the yardage wasn't terrific. Still, they had hot cider (yummy!) and I had a LONG INVOLVED conversation with one of the women who is selling her stuff there (those of you who know me know that this is weird. I don't often have long involved conversations with anyone, unless you're Skippy) Long and short of it, she's looking for a stitcher to help her with her stuff (I'd rather she were looking for a knitter, but, oh well) and I may have some work coming my way. There was also a point where I cried about my doomed Zigzag, which is weird, because I'm more angry than sad about that, and I'm just angry at the stupid yarn, not anything else, and there was a point where she talked to me in great detail about her Christianity, which made me a bit uncomfortable, but she was really nice, and hey, I was out for several hours without the kids today.

So, today was strange and full of surprises, and none of them were nasty. I think we could all use more days like it.

Farewell, Zigzag (sonnet to a doomed sweater)

Your lovely pattern haunted me and yet
The yarn you scream for is beyond my grasp
Your gauge I struggled oh so hard to get
Your cables, serpents winding like an asp

I forged ahead, acryllic in my hand
Ignored the taunting voices of my peers
Tinked back when things did not turn out as planned
Knit on, egad! The end of skein, it nears!

I look upon you now with wizened eye
You're lumpy, and you can't be blocked, I know
The project that was Zigzag now must die
Cheap yarn in hand, a frogging we will go!

Oh, Zigzag, if I could enhance my stash
I'd knit you up again, alas, no cash!